Summer is officially upon us and the weather – in between violent thunderstorms – is turning warmer. And, with the change in the weather I've been covering a lot more outdoor events. Not too long ago I spent a few hours in the sun taking pictures of folks wading into the Des Plaines River in search of slimy, wriggling wildlife to identify and catalog. When I returned to the office I got a lot of strange looks from my co-workers.

Looking at my freshly suntanned face, one of them - Jessica Cantarelli - laughed and accused me of spending the morning tanning instead of working.

This puzzled me momentarily. You see, I have no appreciation for "tanning." In fact, the concept of tanning as an activity to be pursued annoys me.

I grew up for the most part in the farm country of upper middle Illinois, about 20 miles west of Elgin. To me, tanning is not an activity, but the side effect of an activity, specifically working or playing outside. You don't go out to tan. You go out to bail hay or play baseball, and the sun turns the exposed skin of your face, neck and arms darker while you are out in it.

As a kid, I learned from movies and television that people actually spend time outside in the sunshine lying around on cots and towels with no other purpose other than getting a suntan. You can see this in the film classic Beach Party and other such movies. I also learned that, while you may get to hear Dick Dale perform while tanning, you also runs the risk of an encounter with Morey Amsterdam or a comic motorcycle gang.

I've since been informed that there are places in malls where people go that will make tan skin in exchange for money. It seems ludicrous, but apparently folks lie in coffin-like containers and absorb artificial rays until they look a shade darker. They also risk getting accidentally burned to death, as seen in the film classic Final Destination 3.

I feel that tanning also falls into the same category as smoking, because it serves no real purpose as far as I can tell and as a bonus can lead to cancer. While some doctors argue that exposure to sunlight is a great way to stimulate the body's production of Vitamins D and E, optimal amounts of exposure are still the subject of debate, and other doctors recommend moderation. Tanning is thought to be addictive – so much so that 25 states have passed legislation calling for age restrictions and parental notification at tanning parlors. And yet, some people still go way over the line, spending thousands of dollars on both cigarettes and tanning every year.

Maybe I would have a greater appreciation of the process and end result of tanning if I had a harder time getting a tan. I've always tanned easily, turning a dark brown within minutes of stepping outside on a sunny day. As a child, my schoolmates suspected I was adopted because I tanned so much darker than the rest of my family in the summer. Perhaps if my skin didn't tan so easily, or if I skipped the tanning stage and went immediately to boiled-lobster red, maybe then I would know more about things like cocoa butter and SPF levels. As it is, I have been lucky to leave that to those who wish to waste what time they have barbecuing themselves.

And, if tanning were a challenge for me, maybe I would have spent more time working on my tan and less time inside watching movies about tanning. But I doubt it. I think my real beef with tanning is that people focus so much on it, telling people they're "working" on their tans instead of saying what they're really doing: relaxing. I'm all for relaxation, and I understand that we're predisposed to thinking that people with tans are healthier and more attractive.

But if everyone with a tan got it by working – or playing – out in the fresh air and sunshine rather than spending $300 per year to lie motionless inside a glowing box, then maybe they'd all be as healthy as they want to appear.

Be sure to check back in for the next installment of MyBeef when I'll be outraged by some other cancer-causing activity people throw away money on.

So, what's your beef? Do you tan easily? Are you suffering from a sunburn? Did you throw away good money to rent Final Destination 3? Want to rant about it? Sign up, sign in and start posting your blogs today on NeighborhoodCircle.com. It’s free!

By: Brian Thomas | Staff Writer At 06/26/2008 - 6:14pm |  |  |